The epidemic of never being alone

Does the loneliness epidemic have a twin sister that is aching for quiet, solitude, and nakedness?

We are two journalist moms writing about family issues from a feminist perspective. Research, interviews and personal stories connecting systemic issues and family life; also, 40+ mom humor. You can read past issues here. Click below to get this newsletter in your inbox, free.

Many women just want to be alone and take a nap. Art by @joolsannie

I hit an important milestone earlier this week. On Tuesday, my partner finally went back to work in person, and I had the house to myself for the whole day for the first time in two years.

I dropped my toddler off at preschool, and then I wasn’t even sure what to do. It was exhilarating and overwhelming. So much privacy!

When I came home to my apartment, it had that delicious hush of a space that is unoccupied. How I had missed that stillness. No one on a Zoom call in the other room. No waiting for the silence to be pierced any moment by someone bursting through the door.

Before me lay a long, luxurious stretch of being alone, in my own home, for hours on end. I mean, I still had to work from home, it wasn’t a total holiday. But it still felt like some kind of spa day. (On my birthday a couple months ago, I went to an actual spa to get some quiet time, but this somehow felt different.)  

Now that I’m thinking about it, it has been more than two years since I have had my house to myself. I actually can’t remember spending a day home alone since I had a baby, three years ago.

Do you relate to this? If so, you’re not alone. Between parenting and the pandemic, many parents, especially women, have been deprived of any time to themselves.