Weaponizing idealized femininity can help you get away with the most diabolical stuff possible. But no amount of botox will make you equal to a man in a sexist organization.
I love this post because it both explains the phenomenon of Ivanka, Kristi and Pam (and their many predecessors ) and it shows us how even the best Botox job cannot protect you from misogyny and tyranny. No one is safe. So they make a choice to do this, but even they aren’t protected. Like you’ve said in the past — patriarchy doesn’t protect anyone.
This reminded me of a crucial scene in The Handmaids Tale, Serena Joy had been instrumental in the ideology, theology and politics of Gilead of “solving” and “curating” the low birth population. Serena expects to be let into the room to plan further and to be praised. Her husband goes into the government room and the door closes shutting her out. On twitter someone wrote “Serena Joy is the architect of her own prison.” You can only rise so far, you’ll never actually be one of us. They used her ideas and discarded her. These types of women want status, money and power. I think many of them very male centred to start with. Their motivation is seeking male approval, they’re either very insecure or they’re used to pleasing men to get want they want or be rewarded later. They’re never girls girls that support other women or implement policies in women’s favour. It’s internalised misogyny and selfishness that sees them as an exception a political pick me “I’m not like other women.”
In my 72 yrs of life I've seen feminism play the gamut of patriarchy. What started out as freedom for women ended up as "we can beat them at their own game". We can do patriarchy better than they can.
I watched this evolve in feminist NGOs and women's support networks and part of the problem has always been trauma. Women with a history of trauma who don't do the work to heal know only 2 things, victim and abuser. When your frame of reference is "dominate or be dominated" you are in patriarchy and erroneously think you can compete and win on patriarchal terms. This can never happen because in patriarchy women are always substandard, always trying to outman the men and it's simply not possible.
This leads to the question of "why"? What is stopping women from understanding that the same structure that inflicted their pain can't possibly liberate them? The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. Audre Lord had it right and more and if white feminists would study Black feminist perspective they'd understand because "white" feminism is still at the service of patriarchy. I've been trying to call women in for the better part of my life and failing for the better part of that time because the term"white feminism" is always met with resistance and aggression. Self explanatory
White feminism is and always will be patriarchal. Power over is and always will be patriarchal.
Black feminism "the aunty perspective" is similar to indigenous feminism and matriarchal.
No matter what you're here for, what the intention is, if it can't be named, it can't be tamed.
The nomenclature is still patriarchal no matter what we believe our stamce is, nomenclature like body programming must be understood and disassembled to actually effect change. I hear a lot of immediate rebuttal, nothing that says "it's time to step outside what I know."
We can't undo the brainwashing and grooming from within the system. Stepping outside and into the Black feminist perspective is very uncomfortable and takes dedication to self healing in a matriachal way.
The most uncomfortable thing in the world is to just sit with discomfort and not try to override it, and unless we expand our capacity for constructive discomfort, learn where it lives in our bodies and let it talk to us instead of us labelling it for the sake of comfort, we are just spinning our wheels and ensuring the survival of patriarchy.
There is a long history of women being rewarded for performing a particular version of pleasantness. When usefulness and agreeableness become the path to influence, it creates a dynamic where women are both visible and constrained at the same time. It gives the appearance of representation while leaving the underlying structure unchanged.
What I want to know is, how long white women will continue to betray the rest of the marginalized world, or should I say, betray the rest of womanhood. (Cue the: not all white women). So long as white women believe their skin color and proximity to white male patriachy will save them and their daughters, the rest of us are screwed. One thing all the women in this article have in common is their skin color. Y'all keep white supremacy alive - you sleep with them, you birth them, and raise them. These a**holes (in fact patriarchy) do not stand a chance if all women stand in our power *as a collective* and stop birthing and nurturing our oppressors.
Very incisive analysis. Patriarchy is fundamentally built on the belief that women are inferior to and should live in service to men. This is what women like Noem (who align with patriarchal movements like MAGA/conservatism) either seem to forget or believe that they are excepted from. Well, she fucked around and found out: She—and every woman—shilling for patriarchy is seen as disposable and replaceable by that same patriarchy.
"Proximity to power" sounds very similar to your "patriarchal opportunism" term, but I like the connotations implied by your term: the opportunism of it all.
Brilliant analysis, clear reporting. Thank you. This was just at the hint stage in the 1960s. By the 1980s we seemed to have lost the thread, as we lobbied for a corner office, while wearing suits and ties. (Eeekkk!) Am adding this article to my file of reference articles to link to in the future.
You can align yourself with the patriarchy but the patriarchy will never align itself with you.
I think the botox and fillers are all about loudly performing subservience to male requirements. Conservative women must ingratiate themselves with their overlords if they want to stay safe.
I agree though, it would be curious to know whether she feels shocked to have been cheated. I always thought her dog/goat murdering tale was about impressing Trump with the evidence that she could do the “tough, hard stuff”. It paid off for her, momentarily.
I love this post because it both explains the phenomenon of Ivanka, Kristi and Pam (and their many predecessors ) and it shows us how even the best Botox job cannot protect you from misogyny and tyranny. No one is safe. So they make a choice to do this, but even they aren’t protected. Like you’ve said in the past — patriarchy doesn’t protect anyone.
Your Botox won’t protect you 😅
Patriarchy protects itself. Not women, not children, not even individual men a lot of the time.
True! Patriarchy has them fighting each other to a pulp.
This reminded me of a crucial scene in The Handmaids Tale, Serena Joy had been instrumental in the ideology, theology and politics of Gilead of “solving” and “curating” the low birth population. Serena expects to be let into the room to plan further and to be praised. Her husband goes into the government room and the door closes shutting her out. On twitter someone wrote “Serena Joy is the architect of her own prison.” You can only rise so far, you’ll never actually be one of us. They used her ideas and discarded her. These types of women want status, money and power. I think many of them very male centred to start with. Their motivation is seeking male approval, they’re either very insecure or they’re used to pleasing men to get want they want or be rewarded later. They’re never girls girls that support other women or implement policies in women’s favour. It’s internalised misogyny and selfishness that sees them as an exception a political pick me “I’m not like other women.”
Yes! Great example. Oof, it's so bleak! Trying to impress people that will never see you as fully human or equal.
In my 72 yrs of life I've seen feminism play the gamut of patriarchy. What started out as freedom for women ended up as "we can beat them at their own game". We can do patriarchy better than they can.
I watched this evolve in feminist NGOs and women's support networks and part of the problem has always been trauma. Women with a history of trauma who don't do the work to heal know only 2 things, victim and abuser. When your frame of reference is "dominate or be dominated" you are in patriarchy and erroneously think you can compete and win on patriarchal terms. This can never happen because in patriarchy women are always substandard, always trying to outman the men and it's simply not possible.
This leads to the question of "why"? What is stopping women from understanding that the same structure that inflicted their pain can't possibly liberate them? The master's tools will never dismantle the master's house. Audre Lord had it right and more and if white feminists would study Black feminist perspective they'd understand because "white" feminism is still at the service of patriarchy. I've been trying to call women in for the better part of my life and failing for the better part of that time because the term"white feminism" is always met with resistance and aggression. Self explanatory
Some people also mistakenly believe that matriarchy is power over, when it’s abandoning that model and replacing it with power with and care.
I think most people in this space are here for that 🙌
White feminism is and always will be patriarchal. Power over is and always will be patriarchal.
Black feminism "the aunty perspective" is similar to indigenous feminism and matriarchal.
No matter what you're here for, what the intention is, if it can't be named, it can't be tamed.
The nomenclature is still patriarchal no matter what we believe our stamce is, nomenclature like body programming must be understood and disassembled to actually effect change. I hear a lot of immediate rebuttal, nothing that says "it's time to step outside what I know."
We can't undo the brainwashing and grooming from within the system. Stepping outside and into the Black feminist perspective is very uncomfortable and takes dedication to self healing in a matriachal way.
The most uncomfortable thing in the world is to just sit with discomfort and not try to override it, and unless we expand our capacity for constructive discomfort, learn where it lives in our bodies and let it talk to us instead of us labelling it for the sake of comfort, we are just spinning our wheels and ensuring the survival of patriarchy.
There is a long history of women being rewarded for performing a particular version of pleasantness. When usefulness and agreeableness become the path to influence, it creates a dynamic where women are both visible and constrained at the same time. It gives the appearance of representation while leaving the underlying structure unchanged.
I loved this truth-telling piece, and the expression "patriarchal opportunism."
Thank you Lane!
What I want to know is, how long white women will continue to betray the rest of the marginalized world, or should I say, betray the rest of womanhood. (Cue the: not all white women). So long as white women believe their skin color and proximity to white male patriachy will save them and their daughters, the rest of us are screwed. One thing all the women in this article have in common is their skin color. Y'all keep white supremacy alive - you sleep with them, you birth them, and raise them. These a**holes (in fact patriarchy) do not stand a chance if all women stand in our power *as a collective* and stop birthing and nurturing our oppressors.
Very incisive analysis. Patriarchy is fundamentally built on the belief that women are inferior to and should live in service to men. This is what women like Noem (who align with patriarchal movements like MAGA/conservatism) either seem to forget or believe that they are excepted from. Well, she fucked around and found out: She—and every woman—shilling for patriarchy is seen as disposable and replaceable by that same patriarchy.
"Proximity to power" sounds very similar to your "patriarchal opportunism" term, but I like the connotations implied by your term: the opportunism of it all.
This little video from week before last unpacks what I mean by that term! https://matriarchyreport.substack.com/p/the-us-mens-hockey-team-demonstrates
Brilliant analysis, clear reporting. Thank you. This was just at the hint stage in the 1960s. By the 1980s we seemed to have lost the thread, as we lobbied for a corner office, while wearing suits and ties. (Eeekkk!) Am adding this article to my file of reference articles to link to in the future.
Thanks so much, Naomi!
stronger together
You can align yourself with the patriarchy but the patriarchy will never align itself with you.
I think the botox and fillers are all about loudly performing subservience to male requirements. Conservative women must ingratiate themselves with their overlords if they want to stay safe.
I agree though, it would be curious to know whether she feels shocked to have been cheated. I always thought her dog/goat murdering tale was about impressing Trump with the evidence that she could do the “tough, hard stuff”. It paid off for her, momentarily.