Hi! I tried something new and popped on to make a short video that you can watch or listen to.
Here’s the TLDR: Men who subscribe to patriarchal masculinity don’t “protect women,” because this version of masculinity conditions men to seek the approval of other men to get status and power. Protecting women doesn’t gain status in this system, betraying and belittling them does.
That’s why we see these hockey players fall into line so quickly when a powerful man calls them and makes a misogynist comment: they have done this and seen this hundreds of times before, and have been conditioned to perform accordingly. That’s what is so upsetting about this. This garbage happens constantly, even to women who earn a literal GOLD MEDAL. There is no bottom to “GIRLS SUCK” in patriarchal masculinity. In fact, these women threatened patriarchal hierarchies when they won (and performed better) than the men’s team, so this phone call was meant to restore that hierarchy by putting down women instead of celebrating them equally.
And here’s the kicker: the men who protected Epstein were conditioned the same way. They sought status and power from other men by betraying women and children. It’s not harmless behavior. It’s part of rape culture. I think this is why this hockey situation is really upsetting right now, because we feel this connection in our nervous systems. The Epstein Files is the logical extension of patriarchal opportunism and betrayal that begins in locker rooms.
Not one of the powerful men that surrounded Epstein spoke out, or made a phone call, or blew a whistle when they could have, because they had been conditioned to throw women under the bus to attain status and power. If we give the hockey players the benefit of the doubt that they were caught off guard, okay—but to my knowledge, not a single male hockey player has spoken out to simply say: “These women are equals and deserve to be celebrated equally, period.” Not one!
Moral of the story: Patriarchal masculinity only protects itself. It doesn’t honor or protect women and children, it belittles and preys on them. Practice another way of being a man and/or human if you want to avoid being a garbage person.
END
What are your thoughts on this?
When have you also experienced moments of betrayal and misogynist comments like this one? How does this feel connected to other more violent examples of misogyny? It’s all connected!
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