Even winning a literal gold medal cannot stop the impulse of men to belittle women. So glad to hear this made so clear. Keeping their boots on women’s necks is the whole point.
This commentary is just amazing in how you describe patriarchal opportunism and men being conditioned to seek the approval of other men — and the connection between what happens in the locker room with what happened with all the men who didn’t speak up about what was happening with Epstein. It’s daily conditioning across all aspects of our lives - work, culture, family systems.
Very true, and also indicative of how there's no patriarchy without hierarchy. There always has to be a ladder of status between men, and men and women. And even men who should be high on this ladder - say, Bill Gates or Elon Musk - will defer to men like Epstein if they perceive them to be on a higher rung in other patriarchal achievements (i.e. "getting" hot girls)
100% ! And this hierarchy is why it’s bad for men and boys too, and especially queer people. Patriarchal hierarchy creates violence and oppression to everyone, and is the system that creates misogyny and homophobia.
Many years ago I was in the army. I worked in a clinic on a military base where there were 12,000 male soldiers and fewer than 300 female soldiers. One day, one of the other technicians in the clinic said to me, “The only reason they let women in the military is to keep the soldiers happy.”And he was serious! As if the women weren’t also soldiers. As if we hadn’t had the same training that the men had had. As if I weren’t doing the exact same job that he was doing. As if we were there with the expectation that we were available for whatever man wanted us. It was back in the 1970s, and at that time the military was the only place where women were paid the same as men, which was why I enlisted.
UGHHH! Thank you for sharing this. And also, isn't this basically Pete Hegseths' whole philosophy? That women don't belong in the military and aren't "equal" soldiers? Shows once again that the way to get power and approval in this admin is by throwing women under the bus.
The worst part is that there is no questioning, learning or self-examination happening by these men. They could give a damn about women. Even after this controversy, if Trump called them today, they would still laugh just like they did.
The only thing that men recognize is loss. That is why they need to start losing things as a result of their behavior. Girlfriends, bye. Marriages, gone.
Let there be consequences for these loser men. Maybe then they'll start to learn.
Agree and the backlash that we have rn with lower marriage rates and birth rates is directly connected to this. Instead of changing, patriarchal systems are trying to re-organize to control and coerce women into these roles. CREEPY.
Thank you for connecting the dots so clearly. Male status under patriarchy is always gained from other males, never women. That’s why the “it’s not all men!” response is false. It’s all men.
Yes! You are so right. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to express this exact point. It IS all men because they are all going along with it. They are all protecting each other all the time, gaslighting women all the time, feigning shock and horror to “discover” that we have all been molested or raped and are afraid to walk alone. They are not shocked ffs, they KNOW! They ALL know because they are either abusing women themselves or staying quiet about men who do. When your status depends on the oppression of women I guess you just nudge and wink and laugh along.
So well said!! It’s also the police officer who attends a domestic violence callout, and when the perpetrator pauses beating his partner to calmly go to the door and say, “Nothing happening, just a little disagreement,” the officer nods and walks away, knowing full well that that woman might die tonight. It’s also the teenagers at a party who watch their friend drag a semi-unconscious girl into a bedroom and don’t say anything. It’s from the top all the way to the bottom. It really is all men.
And the Gisèle Pelicot case too. Not one of those men reported what was going on. The ones that walked out and refused to participate didn’t. I agree with everything you say in this video. It’s deeply disturbing.
Wow, you called it out! Patriarchal conditioning - X a thousand - followed by patriarchal opportunism creates moments like the men's hockey team misogynistic response AND THEN leads to events as egregious as the whole Epstein storm.
I love when you say...Status for men comes from the approval of other men. This explains so much of what we're seeing and experiencing.
Then there's the whole mind F$%k of - according to those who speak to the role of men - if men's role in protecting women is just to protect them from other men - what is actually happening here? Men can't simply protect us without ALSO speaking out to the very reason they say we need to be protected!
Thanks so much, Tracy! Yes--the nonsense logic that men will be the ones to protect us from the predators--the predators who are also the men. Lol. Make it make sense!!
How about men stop being predators and we just take care of our damn selves?
Thank you, LeeAnn. And I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. Not okay. I have many other posts in my archive about patriarchy and how it functions that might be useful to you--I also suggest the work of Zawn Villines and Cindy DiTiberio that might be right up your alley from what you describe. Being able to name things is powerful!
Even winning a literal gold medal cannot stop the impulse of men to belittle women. So glad to hear this made so clear. Keeping their boots on women’s necks is the whole point.
I think winning a gold medal and outplaying the guys made them feel threatened and actually provoked the comment! Ugh
This commentary is just amazing in how you describe patriarchal opportunism and men being conditioned to seek the approval of other men — and the connection between what happens in the locker room with what happened with all the men who didn’t speak up about what was happening with Epstein. It’s daily conditioning across all aspects of our lives - work, culture, family systems.
Yes! 💯
Thank you :)
Very true, and also indicative of how there's no patriarchy without hierarchy. There always has to be a ladder of status between men, and men and women. And even men who should be high on this ladder - say, Bill Gates or Elon Musk - will defer to men like Epstein if they perceive them to be on a higher rung in other patriarchal achievements (i.e. "getting" hot girls)
100% ! And this hierarchy is why it’s bad for men and boys too, and especially queer people. Patriarchal hierarchy creates violence and oppression to everyone, and is the system that creates misogyny and homophobia.
Very well said! I was a heavy construction worker from the early 80’s for many years. I’ve seen and heard it all firsthand
Oof I can only imagine!
Beautifully articulated! Men bonding over harming women is old and vile and needs to stop.
“Men bonding over hurting women” oof—that’s pretty spot on! Thx Jo-Ann
Many years ago I was in the army. I worked in a clinic on a military base where there were 12,000 male soldiers and fewer than 300 female soldiers. One day, one of the other technicians in the clinic said to me, “The only reason they let women in the military is to keep the soldiers happy.”And he was serious! As if the women weren’t also soldiers. As if we hadn’t had the same training that the men had had. As if I weren’t doing the exact same job that he was doing. As if we were there with the expectation that we were available for whatever man wanted us. It was back in the 1970s, and at that time the military was the only place where women were paid the same as men, which was why I enlisted.
UGHHH! Thank you for sharing this. And also, isn't this basically Pete Hegseths' whole philosophy? That women don't belong in the military and aren't "equal" soldiers? Shows once again that the way to get power and approval in this admin is by throwing women under the bus.
The worst part is that there is no questioning, learning or self-examination happening by these men. They could give a damn about women. Even after this controversy, if Trump called them today, they would still laugh just like they did.
The only thing that men recognize is loss. That is why they need to start losing things as a result of their behavior. Girlfriends, bye. Marriages, gone.
Let there be consequences for these loser men. Maybe then they'll start to learn.
Agree and the backlash that we have rn with lower marriage rates and birth rates is directly connected to this. Instead of changing, patriarchal systems are trying to re-organize to control and coerce women into these roles. CREEPY.
Thank you for connecting the dots so clearly. Male status under patriarchy is always gained from other males, never women. That’s why the “it’s not all men!” response is false. It’s all men.
Ugh…good point! It’s all men at least some of the time. Way too often!!
Yes! You are so right. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to express this exact point. It IS all men because they are all going along with it. They are all protecting each other all the time, gaslighting women all the time, feigning shock and horror to “discover” that we have all been molested or raped and are afraid to walk alone. They are not shocked ffs, they KNOW! They ALL know because they are either abusing women themselves or staying quiet about men who do. When your status depends on the oppression of women I guess you just nudge and wink and laugh along.
Not to mention that they are the biggest perpetrators.
THIS!! Who do we need protection from, gentlemen? Oh, it's you and other men? No thanks!!
Patriarchal masculinity creates the violence that that we need protection from--and then justifies itself as the "solution" /hero lololol
Yes! Exactly!!! What complete nonsense.
Truth! It’s all connected.
It’s all connected !
We're not going to get anywhere until we burn down the patriarchy. And just start over. Until then, I'm watching reels like this one: https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVKFp_AIIUD/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ== (Will Ferrell saying women need to take over. Hopefully it's real, not AI.)
Amen!
So well said!! It’s also the police officer who attends a domestic violence callout, and when the perpetrator pauses beating his partner to calmly go to the door and say, “Nothing happening, just a little disagreement,” the officer nods and walks away, knowing full well that that woman might die tonight. It’s also the teenagers at a party who watch their friend drag a semi-unconscious girl into a bedroom and don’t say anything. It’s from the top all the way to the bottom. It really is all men.
And the Gisèle Pelicot case too. Not one of those men reported what was going on. The ones that walked out and refused to participate didn’t. I agree with everything you say in this video. It’s deeply disturbing.
THE GISELE PELICOT CASE!! I think about it all the time! Perfect example and VERY disturbing.
Wow, you called it out! Patriarchal conditioning - X a thousand - followed by patriarchal opportunism creates moments like the men's hockey team misogynistic response AND THEN leads to events as egregious as the whole Epstein storm.
I love when you say...Status for men comes from the approval of other men. This explains so much of what we're seeing and experiencing.
Then there's the whole mind F$%k of - according to those who speak to the role of men - if men's role in protecting women is just to protect them from other men - what is actually happening here? Men can't simply protect us without ALSO speaking out to the very reason they say we need to be protected!
And, BTW.....love the video. More, please.
Thanks so much, Tracy! Yes--the nonsense logic that men will be the ones to protect us from the predators--the predators who are also the men. Lol. Make it make sense!!
How about men stop being predators and we just take care of our damn selves?
THIS!
Every single fucking day by my husband. You have put into words something I never could. Thank you. PS this made me cry, not sure why.
Thank you, LeeAnn. And I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. Not okay. I have many other posts in my archive about patriarchy and how it functions that might be useful to you--I also suggest the work of Zawn Villines and Cindy DiTiberio that might be right up your alley from what you describe. Being able to name things is powerful!
Thank you, Lane. I will.
This article might be of interest. I recommend her whole website. Helped me a lot ❤️https://speakoutloud.net/intimate-partner-abuse/jealousy
Absolutely!!! 💯