When I had my daughter, or even earlier - when I was pregnant, some friends started addressing me as “mom”: “Awwww, you are a mom now? How’s it feel being a mom?”. “Not great, friend, not great”. I had never realized the weight of this word until then. It’s like I was short of breath and carrying 35kg of bricks in my shoulders, while smiling politely.
Such a beautiful, illuminating and real piece! Thank you so much for putting into words all of my fleeting feelings.
From one “little mother” to another: I see and feel your hurt animal pain. And I too wish for a different circle that could hold all of it. I can feel from your writing that any circle would be better for having you and your big heart inside of it -- on exactly your own terms.
This was a really beautiful and much needed read, thank you. I wish we lived in a world where having children didn't mean surrendering our souls or agency to protect them because we're the only resource we can access. I've opted not to have them, but I spend time in my own multiverses like the author and I wish I had more real choices and that it was a gentler world.
I want to say how moved I am to hear all these comments--thank you! And thanks to Lane for giving the space to write this, and fantastic editorial support along the way :)
Woof, excuse me while I go cry outside on my deck in 40 degree weather. I feel as the other often, sometimes daily. Mostly I am relieved, and sometimes I am not. Thank you for this.❤️
I was in a taxi Tuesday morning and the driver told me she wakes up at 4 to drive the cab for a few hours, until 9 a.m. when she starts her real job as an IT consultant, until she picks her 3 year old up from school, brings the kid home, and they go to bed at 7. Her one year old is in Pakistan with his grandmother, because having two kids and two jobs is just too much. I actually thought, "She's so lucky she has her mom to help!" Until I remembered: Her child is 7,000 miles away. That's what constitutes good care in this country. Sending your kid away. SO thank you Lane for calling out the BS on "choice" and for sharing all this other amazing work by women writing about these issues.
Oh good heavens. That scene she described on the beach is going to stay with me for a long time. This was my experience: I was the oldest of 5 kids and was the little mama. I am a 40 year old woman with no children of her own because I already raised them. Thank you curating this for us, it's such a gift. I love what your publication brings to the world.
So much beauty and heartache and truth here. The line “I think: This is my fault.” Wow. Gut punch. How often do I / do we think that exactly, simply. How hard it is not to take on so much of what, in truth, just is.
Wise and wonderful thoughts, Kat -- so beautifully expressed. I feel as though, throughout my own life, I've been weaving in and outside of that circle: conforming and rebelling, or simply existing differently at times. In this way and in others, I too am a witch. Blessed be!
POWERFUL. I'll be sitting with and reflecting on this beautiful work for some time, I imagine. Kat has found the words for those drifting feelings and conflicts and truths I've never been able to speak on. Thank you for this one.
When I had my daughter, or even earlier - when I was pregnant, some friends started addressing me as “mom”: “Awwww, you are a mom now? How’s it feel being a mom?”. “Not great, friend, not great”. I had never realized the weight of this word until then. It’s like I was short of breath and carrying 35kg of bricks in my shoulders, while smiling politely.
Such a beautiful, illuminating and real piece! Thank you so much for putting into words all of my fleeting feelings.
From one “little mother” to another: I see and feel your hurt animal pain. And I too wish for a different circle that could hold all of it. I can feel from your writing that any circle would be better for having you and your big heart inside of it -- on exactly your own terms.
This was a really beautiful and much needed read, thank you. I wish we lived in a world where having children didn't mean surrendering our souls or agency to protect them because we're the only resource we can access. I've opted not to have them, but I spend time in my own multiverses like the author and I wish I had more real choices and that it was a gentler world.
I want to say how moved I am to hear all these comments--thank you! And thanks to Lane for giving the space to write this, and fantastic editorial support along the way :)
Woof, excuse me while I go cry outside on my deck in 40 degree weather. I feel as the other often, sometimes daily. Mostly I am relieved, and sometimes I am not. Thank you for this.❤️
I was in a taxi Tuesday morning and the driver told me she wakes up at 4 to drive the cab for a few hours, until 9 a.m. when she starts her real job as an IT consultant, until she picks her 3 year old up from school, brings the kid home, and they go to bed at 7. Her one year old is in Pakistan with his grandmother, because having two kids and two jobs is just too much. I actually thought, "She's so lucky she has her mom to help!" Until I remembered: Her child is 7,000 miles away. That's what constitutes good care in this country. Sending your kid away. SO thank you Lane for calling out the BS on "choice" and for sharing all this other amazing work by women writing about these issues.
Oh good heavens. That scene she described on the beach is going to stay with me for a long time. This was my experience: I was the oldest of 5 kids and was the little mama. I am a 40 year old woman with no children of her own because I already raised them. Thank you curating this for us, it's such a gift. I love what your publication brings to the world.
So much beauty and heartache and truth here. The line “I think: This is my fault.” Wow. Gut punch. How often do I / do we think that exactly, simply. How hard it is not to take on so much of what, in truth, just is.
Thank you for this post, Kat and Lane.
Wise and wonderful thoughts, Kat -- so beautifully expressed. I feel as though, throughout my own life, I've been weaving in and outside of that circle: conforming and rebelling, or simply existing differently at times. In this way and in others, I too am a witch. Blessed be!
Beautiful, honest, illuminating piece. Thank you.
POWERFUL. I'll be sitting with and reflecting on this beautiful work for some time, I imagine. Kat has found the words for those drifting feelings and conflicts and truths I've never been able to speak on. Thank you for this one.
“The truth is: I’m afraid of the mother I might be, and I have chosen not to know.”
Yes, this.
Kat, this is so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. Thank you. I understand this and can relate. 🤍