Sep 24, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
These are all such great questions. I second all of them! I'm not a parent, but I teach young children and just spent a week looking after an eleven-year-old boy I've known for five years. He is addicted to tv, games, his phone, and he has ADHD and dyslexia. When I taught special ed, I noticed that some students relied on screens more than others to self-soothe. They would also hyper-focus on games, characters, etc. But I've also observed changes in neurotypical behavior around screen time. Especially if kids watch short, manic Youtube clips vs. anything 30 min or longer with a solid narrative. Having a phone and an iPad makes it harder to regulate what kids watch. Like Ashley, I'm fascinated by the short and long-term implications of all this, but I also see how hard it is to limit technology, and I feel for busy parents. I tutored a little girl (now 9) whose mother decided to limit screens to the weekend because her daughter struggled to transition from a screen to anything else. The family now contends with fewer meltdowns, and the child (hopefully) doesn't have to be a social pariah on weekends. Who can say if this is a long-term solution? I'd love to hear more on this -- if it isn't already talked about too much, and I'd love to know what other countries are doing (to second Chris W). More time outdoors? More afterschool enrichment? I'm sure access to decent healthcare, parental leave, childcare, income, etc play a role. Thanks for all the great, thought-provoking content, Matriarchy Report!
Sep 24, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
I would love to read and think more with other feminists (especially in queer communities) who are raising boys. I have two teen boys and one almost teen. I hear the toxic masculinity stuff coming at them all the time. But sometimes it’s hard (even for me) to unpack. So how we help them do that? How do we help them recognize and resist all of that bulls hit when it is presented to them in the form of jokes and memes on Tik Tok? How do we talk to them when we are triggered by something they think is a harmless joke? And how do we keep them from shutting their emotions down, and from shutting us out?
Sep 24, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
Matriarchy report really speaks to me and you guys are doing such good work! As a parent who had kids later I’d love perspectives from parents who also had kids in their late thirties and forties but are at the point where kids are in HS/College. I need wisdom to reassure me that my kids won’t hate me for being so damn old :)
Maybe redundant but as a white parent I’m always here for reporting and convos on raising kids to be anti-racist and aware of white privilege.
Lastly - more coverage if kids and families with disabilities and special needs and I think speaking to the unbearable strain that falls on (mostly) women who have to care for their children and parents at the same time with hardly any assistance from society or the government.
Just kidding - one last thing - I love NYC’s universal PreK program. But I don’t use it and never have. There are two main reasons: my daughters have really late birthdays and because of NYC’s firm cut off date for end of year birthdays they will always be the youngest kids. Also, I don’t love the five day a week, all day model. It’s a lot for kids and I think many (most?) child development experts would agree it’s more than kids need. And yet! It’s also not enough for working parents because it’s not full work day!
I think two issues have been conflated. Working parents need affordable child care. Kids need preschool. Little kids don’t need some sort of structured all day curriculum- they need safe spaces to explore and be cared for and some enrichment activities but the rush to early academics has actually been shown not be be particularly effective. But in the US, where there’s little appetite to help working parents or to provide high quality education for little ones, NYC tried to do a little of both and the private preks here have followed. For a parent like me, who doesn’t particularly want my 2.5 year old in a 3K from 8.30-2.30 every day I’m left with few options for half day or just a few days a week. Now. I fully acknowledge my privilege - I work part time and don’t need full time care but I’ve been so frustrated by the conflation of preschool and day care. Are they the same? Are they separate? Are we doing right by our kids? I honestly don’t know and maybe I’m too worked up about this, haha. But as the Biden administration pushes for things like universal child care or universal prek im worried we are going to end up with an inflexible, rigid system that doesn’t actually meet people’s needs and is more grounded in political horse trading than what is best for kids and families. All I know is that I’m left still paying money to try to cobble together child care and preschool for my child in a city with free universal preschool but tons of rigidity around utilizing it. . .
Sep 24, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
I would love to hear more about the struggles and successes of parents who manage the education of their non-neurotypical children. How did the pandemic affect this child’s learning, as well as the overall household? How successful are IEP and 504 plans in creating equity for these students? And also, how to single parent do it all?!
Sep 24, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
The iPhone (version 1) came out when my first child was a year old and the iPad a few years later. Every parent feels the stress of being the pioneers of parenting in the tech age. It feels daunting to be parenting in the midst of this social experiment when we really don’t and can’t understand the repercussions of all of this on child development. What we do know doesn’t look good yet still we persist. My kids are the some of the only among their friends without smart phones. Am I saving them from the unknown for the cause of their social suicide?! What are we gaining, losing and how is everyone managing?
Sep 23, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
I love reading this every week--it is always thoughtful and well-reported and there's a real emphasis on intersectionality (hooray!), and I've learned a lot--I enjoy reading this even though I'm not a parent and don't plan to be one. I would love more queer/nonbinary stories in terms of parents who are NB/queer, but also about parents who are trying to raise kids to express their gender how they feel best in a world full of "gender reveal" cakes and binary b.s. :)
I look forward to reading your enlightening articles each week! I would like to see you examine the child-care shortage that our nation is currently facing and explore possible solutions.
Sep 22, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
First, thanks for all the amazing reporting and articles over the past year! I most love your work that draws on experts of all stripes. (I still really enjoy everything else, of course, but I especially crave hearing from experts in this time when expertise - and fact - is too often belittled in American politics.) I’d actually appreciate hearing from more expert voices who do work outside of or beyond America. I think a global perspective is too often lacking in American discourse. So many other countries have figured out how to do so many things better, so let’s hear from them, please :)
These are all such great questions. I second all of them! I'm not a parent, but I teach young children and just spent a week looking after an eleven-year-old boy I've known for five years. He is addicted to tv, games, his phone, and he has ADHD and dyslexia. When I taught special ed, I noticed that some students relied on screens more than others to self-soothe. They would also hyper-focus on games, characters, etc. But I've also observed changes in neurotypical behavior around screen time. Especially if kids watch short, manic Youtube clips vs. anything 30 min or longer with a solid narrative. Having a phone and an iPad makes it harder to regulate what kids watch. Like Ashley, I'm fascinated by the short and long-term implications of all this, but I also see how hard it is to limit technology, and I feel for busy parents. I tutored a little girl (now 9) whose mother decided to limit screens to the weekend because her daughter struggled to transition from a screen to anything else. The family now contends with fewer meltdowns, and the child (hopefully) doesn't have to be a social pariah on weekends. Who can say if this is a long-term solution? I'd love to hear more on this -- if it isn't already talked about too much, and I'd love to know what other countries are doing (to second Chris W). More time outdoors? More afterschool enrichment? I'm sure access to decent healthcare, parental leave, childcare, income, etc play a role. Thanks for all the great, thought-provoking content, Matriarchy Report!
I would love to read and think more with other feminists (especially in queer communities) who are raising boys. I have two teen boys and one almost teen. I hear the toxic masculinity stuff coming at them all the time. But sometimes it’s hard (even for me) to unpack. So how we help them do that? How do we help them recognize and resist all of that bulls hit when it is presented to them in the form of jokes and memes on Tik Tok? How do we talk to them when we are triggered by something they think is a harmless joke? And how do we keep them from shutting their emotions down, and from shutting us out?
Matriarchy report really speaks to me and you guys are doing such good work! As a parent who had kids later I’d love perspectives from parents who also had kids in their late thirties and forties but are at the point where kids are in HS/College. I need wisdom to reassure me that my kids won’t hate me for being so damn old :)
Maybe redundant but as a white parent I’m always here for reporting and convos on raising kids to be anti-racist and aware of white privilege.
Lastly - more coverage if kids and families with disabilities and special needs and I think speaking to the unbearable strain that falls on (mostly) women who have to care for their children and parents at the same time with hardly any assistance from society or the government.
Just kidding - one last thing - I love NYC’s universal PreK program. But I don’t use it and never have. There are two main reasons: my daughters have really late birthdays and because of NYC’s firm cut off date for end of year birthdays they will always be the youngest kids. Also, I don’t love the five day a week, all day model. It’s a lot for kids and I think many (most?) child development experts would agree it’s more than kids need. And yet! It’s also not enough for working parents because it’s not full work day!
I think two issues have been conflated. Working parents need affordable child care. Kids need preschool. Little kids don’t need some sort of structured all day curriculum- they need safe spaces to explore and be cared for and some enrichment activities but the rush to early academics has actually been shown not be be particularly effective. But in the US, where there’s little appetite to help working parents or to provide high quality education for little ones, NYC tried to do a little of both and the private preks here have followed. For a parent like me, who doesn’t particularly want my 2.5 year old in a 3K from 8.30-2.30 every day I’m left with few options for half day or just a few days a week. Now. I fully acknowledge my privilege - I work part time and don’t need full time care but I’ve been so frustrated by the conflation of preschool and day care. Are they the same? Are they separate? Are we doing right by our kids? I honestly don’t know and maybe I’m too worked up about this, haha. But as the Biden administration pushes for things like universal child care or universal prek im worried we are going to end up with an inflexible, rigid system that doesn’t actually meet people’s needs and is more grounded in political horse trading than what is best for kids and families. All I know is that I’m left still paying money to try to cobble together child care and preschool for my child in a city with free universal preschool but tons of rigidity around utilizing it. . .
I would love to hear more about the struggles and successes of parents who manage the education of their non-neurotypical children. How did the pandemic affect this child’s learning, as well as the overall household? How successful are IEP and 504 plans in creating equity for these students? And also, how to single parent do it all?!
The iPhone (version 1) came out when my first child was a year old and the iPad a few years later. Every parent feels the stress of being the pioneers of parenting in the tech age. It feels daunting to be parenting in the midst of this social experiment when we really don’t and can’t understand the repercussions of all of this on child development. What we do know doesn’t look good yet still we persist. My kids are the some of the only among their friends without smart phones. Am I saving them from the unknown for the cause of their social suicide?! What are we gaining, losing and how is everyone managing?
I love reading this every week--it is always thoughtful and well-reported and there's a real emphasis on intersectionality (hooray!), and I've learned a lot--I enjoy reading this even though I'm not a parent and don't plan to be one. I would love more queer/nonbinary stories in terms of parents who are NB/queer, but also about parents who are trying to raise kids to express their gender how they feel best in a world full of "gender reveal" cakes and binary b.s. :)
I look forward to reading your enlightening articles each week! I would like to see you examine the child-care shortage that our nation is currently facing and explore possible solutions.
First, thanks for all the amazing reporting and articles over the past year! I most love your work that draws on experts of all stripes. (I still really enjoy everything else, of course, but I especially crave hearing from experts in this time when expertise - and fact - is too often belittled in American politics.) I’d actually appreciate hearing from more expert voices who do work outside of or beyond America. I think a global perspective is too often lacking in American discourse. So many other countries have figured out how to do so many things better, so let’s hear from them, please :)
How much to control and how much to let go (with kids)? For example -- When do you force them to continue piano lessons and when do you let them quit?
Feeling or finding connection in your 30s/40s when you don't live near family or old friends -- I just want to be near all my old friends now!
How much (or whether) to talk to your kids about distressing current political and world events.