Can we talk about #Tradwives, Ballerina Farm, and beauty contests for moms? (thread)

What does it all mean?? Weekly links from my group chat

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Hannah Neeleman is crowned as Mrs. American (yes with an “n”). Courtesy of Ballerina Farm on Instagram.

Every couple of weeks I post links for stuff I have been loving or am obsessed with (in August it was my Barbie binge), and this week my group chat* has blown UP with discussion about #tradwives and specifically Hannah Neeleman (better known as @ballerinafarm on social media, a lifestyle influencer with almost 6.5 million followers.)

If you’re not familiar, Neeleman rose to Instagram fame as a dancing mom of six (now seven) who once attended Juilliard, then married into the JetBlue fortune, bought a ranch in Utah with her husband, and now posts about “living off the land” as a multi-millionaire Mormon rancher who makes her own mozzarella and touts a vaguely Jesus-centered “homestead” lifestyle.

Neeleman has recently sent the internet abuzz because she was crowned Mrs. American (yes, with an “n”) last week (a win that seemed like a forgone conclusion given that her 6.5 million social media followers are almost half as many as the entire Mrs. American organization itself). To thank for much of this buzz was a pageant segment in which she is asked an onstage interview question about “when she has felt most empowered,” and she responded that the most empowering thing that has happened to her was giving birth seven times:

“I have felt this feeling seven times now, as I bring these sacred souls to the earth. After I hold that newborn baby in my arms, the feeling of motherhood and bringing them into the earth is the most empowering feeling I have ever felt.”

And while giving birth and raising kids can certainly be powerful, there’s a decidedly regressive feel to both Neeleman’s content and many of her fans, who feel strongly that a woman’s place is in the home having kids and cooking and cleaning and serving a man as Jesus intended.

Fans and conservative news outlets alike have branded the segment as a “pro-life speech.”

Neeleman doesn’t seem to call herself a “tradwife” (traditional wife) per se, but her affinity to that community is undoubtedly a big part of her success (the “trad” trend encourages a traditional life, where men and women adhere more strictly to their longtime gender roles.)

And on the one hand, who cares about cosplay homesteader influencers and beauty pageants, much less beauty pageants for moms, in the year 2023?

On the other hand, apparently lots of people—because 6.5 million followers.

To put that in perspective in terms of how much influence this particular influencer has, consider:

Sharon McMahon of @sharonsaysso, another up-and-coming influencer who has emerged in the last several years and is also beloved by white women, has 1 million followers.

Glennon Doyle, author of bestselling books “Untamed” and “Love Warrior,” host of a hit podcast and wife to soccer superstar Abby Wambach, has 2 million followers.

Brené Brown, best-selling author, TedTalk sensation and host of two hit podcasts and bestie of Oprah, has 5 million followers.

By some measures, Neeleman has more influence than any of these women, and more than Sharon McMahon and Glennon Doyle put together. That is BANANAS.

I have so many questions: Who is consuming this kind of content, and why? Do you follow? (Is it hate follows, aspirants, mommy blog gawkers?)

Is this really harmless entertainment, or is it a regressive recruiting mechanism, like Andrew Tate is for toxic masculinity?

How worried should we be about the political influence and political weaponization of this kind of content for reproductive rights and things like abortion and birth control? For policies on maternity leave and child care?

I’m wondering how my SAHMs or those with more “traditional” arrangements feel about this trend—do they feel seen or do they feel like this is a gross misrepresentation of their reality, or some of both? “Tradwives don’t speak for me!” ?

Is viral Bama #Rushtok content just a pipeline to #Tradwife content?

Also, to all my Mormon-adjacent people out there—is this the most Mormon influencer thing you've ever seen (the answer is yes) and by all means if you have crossed paths with the Neelemans—what tea do you all have??

I’m considering writing about all this next week, and the brief time years ago that I crossed paths with Hannah Neeleman in NYC when we were both newlyweds…suffice to say our lives have taken, um, different paths. I would love your input.

In the meantime, here are the links to the best stuff the group chat has served up on this topic this week. Typically the links and recs are for paid subscribers, but I’m opening it up this week because I’d love your input. Enjoy and happy Friday!

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“The Edenic Allure of Ballerina Farm” by

Meg Conley

of

homeculture

for

Culture Study

“Tradwife Life as Self-Annihilation” by

Anne Helen Petersen

“What’s the Point?” by

Sara Petersen

of

In Pursuit of Clean Countertops

(She had me at “Buying a 328 acre ranch for millions of dollars to start a direct to consumer beef business is not normal.”)

“Is Tradwife Content Dangerous, or Just Stupid?” by By Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut (Headline award!)

Emily Amick

’s response in Instagram Stories:

“Winning at Mrs. American” also by

Sara Petersen

, the resident expert on momfluencers, of

In Pursuit of Clean Countertops

BONUS: Tressie Cottom, absolutely brilliant as always, on the particular performance of traditional hyperfemininity of Bama Rushtok in “In Alabama, White Tide Rushes On” for NYT.

"(It boils down to performing hyperfemininity and settling for referent or secondhand authority while deferring to masculine power. The cute dances and OOTDs also reveal how complicated it is for today’s young women to live feminist lives.”)

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*Special thanks to the group chat, you know who you are!

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MATRIARCHY REPORT is written by Lane Anderson and Allison Lichter.

Lane Anderson is a writer, journalist, and Clinical Associate Professor at NYU who has won several awards for her writing on inequality and family social issues. She has an MFA from Columbia University. She was raised in Utah and is based in New York City with her partner and young daughter.

Allison Lichter is the Associate Dean at the Newmark School of Journalism at the City University of New York. She has been a writer, producer and editor for radio and print, covering the arts, politics, and the workplace. She was born and raised in Queens, and lives in Brooklyn with her partner and daughter.