This is so good! "Cosplay homesteader influences" is just an hilarious phrase that I will repeat to myself when I'm trying to cheer myself up. BUT more important -- this post serves to pop my bubble just a little bit more, because thinking about who has a platform and whose platforms have influence, has such real material consequence! And also a reminder of all the ways that white women still strive to have power and influence by upholding capitalism and patriarchal values. Thanks for this!
Thank you Allison and yes! In my circles Glennon Doyle is a household name, but this influencer has three times more followers than she does! We indeed live in different bubbles.
So, I recently started following her after seeing some buzz. Can't get over the myriad followers. But also--here's just my hot take--I kind of like her content! She's got a slick editor and I can deal with the snappy and deeply satisfying food cuts. Obvs she and her hubs are not really living off the land--I read another analysis of her recently naming that if they were truly farming in an authentic way, meat would be easier to buy than the copper water bottles they peddle on the Ballerina Farm website. And of course, this has implications for its portrayal of farming AND motherhood. But, personally, I feel like if I can peel her away from the reality she is attempting to represent and regard her with a healthy skepticism (in the same way we view actors), then I can enjoy her kneading bread or telling me about that time she lost a baby lamb and found him in the field and how he is one of God's children. She represents a reality so diametrically opposed to my city-dwelling, only-child rearing, person of color, gluten free lifestyle and ultimately, I find that interesting.
Ahhhh! Thank you for this and I love it because you are precisely the kind of person who I would think would not be interested, but you are!! Oh man we all love a glimpse of an alternate life, even (esp?) if it's fantasy. Meanwhile I have no interest in her content because it's TOO close to home (raised Mormon, from Utah, actual pioneer/polygamous ancestors, white, etc. etc.) Like this is the life I sort or ran away from haha.
I really enjoyed reading this article! I am a SAHM with I guess a more "traditional" set up in that my husband works for a business at home while I manage the daily maintenance that comes with having 4 kids. I follow Ballerina Farm out of interest, but I also follow Sharon Says So and I love her. I try to follow a variety of women to attempt to keep my finger on the pulse of what is out there. I wouldn't say Ballerina Farm influences my ideas about women in the home, religion, politics, or anything. She posts cozy videos of making yummy looking fresh mozzarella sandwiches that I'll never have the time or bandwidth to make. I'm also fascinated that she lets her toddler drink milk straight from her cow.
The fact that she went to Juilliard and keeps up with her dancing and fitness and is an example of loving and caring for her children is meaningful to me, also my daughters are dancers. I haven't ever felt she's trying to push her ideals or life on anyone, she seems to be thoughtfully sharing a part of her life to grow her business. She knows what she's doing to make her business successful.
Homeschooling, home births, farming/ranching, living off the land, all not for me. But I connect with her seeming love for her family and the support she seems to get from her partner as they grow a business together. It's all felt positive to me and just one perspective of how a family can run. And I'd love to try her recipes sometime.
I think the criticism of Ballerina Farm is that it's all aesthetic. If you aren't rich and good looking, no one cares. If Hannah gains weight or gets frumpy, it's all over. Look what happened to model Marisa Miller - she was a beauty that was everywhere, then gained a bit of weight after kid number two and now is totally ignored.
On one hand, her content seems harmless. She rarely talks about anything political, religious or controversial. Most of what I have seen is just videos of her cooking, glimpses of her very beautiful home and family life. But at the same time she is genius. Like many Mormon mommy influencers she is presenting a beautiful SAHM life, it's very aspirational for many. But her page is huge and very active. She must have a whole team helping her create content and working behind the scenes. She is a business owner. And killing it! I am annoyed by influencers who pretend to be "just" stay at home moms when they are actually a lifestyle brand that is significantly increasing their household budget. I have friends who ranch in a similar way--without the millionaire dad safety net--and they do not make enough money to support a family of 9. They have jobs off the farm too. So she has empowered herself but is disempowering others by being coy about the reality of her life.
So very Mormon! "Most Mormon influencer thing?" Big discussion. I guess it depends on how you define "influencer," which is a newish word that I think of as meaning "having fame for having an online audience." Influencers are new, but publicly performing the "correct" way to family/mother/father/wife/husband/man/woman has been très Mormon all of my life, and it's not new to "influencers." Remember "mommy bloggers?" that was a heavily Mormon phenomenon, though not as skewed to "trad." I think folks like Design Mom were entering the conversation at a time when the internet was a platform for Mormons looking to shed "trad" stereotypes that didn't apply to them. But a lot of what you saw a more modern take on something that is actually very traditionally Mormon (women lead domestic artistry, i.e. "homemaking.") Now, we're in an internet culture that is being used equally or more by conservatives. This feels like the clear response to that early 2000s call, in a way.
And while it's a more traditional craft-fame dynamic than "influencing," there was just that NYT piece about the prevalence of Mormon YA writers that comes to mind. I think there's a strong human impulse to put story to experience in a way that explains our lives and gives them meaning, and that's main fuel of the Mormon experience as well, whether it's scriptural tales, the Joseph Smith fables, or the constant retelling of personal narratives in "testimony." In a way, "influencing" is just the newest manifestation of this tradition and it pops up almost everywhere Mormons touch the culture. I assume you read that Atlantic piece about Mitt Romney. We don't share a lot politically, though I respect his character, but you can also see how he is almost unable to frame his life in anything but a very Mormon-typical "hero's journey."
It's a great subject to explore for sure. I'd also be super interested in your take on the psychic costs of engaging in this kind of engagement with the idea of "correct" womaning/mothering. The long, sad struggles of Heather Armstrong and the awful detachment from love and compassion in the abuse accusations of Ruby Franke (another successful "trad" Mormon influencer) come to mind. Armstrong seemed to never be able to detach from the "good enough" struggle many of us internalised in our Mormon upbringing, and Franke seems to have detached from reality and basic morality in attempting to fully commit to her version of "trad" parenting. To me, these feel like two sides of a Mormon-minted coin. Not that these are solely Mormon phenomena, but they are so recognisable to me from my experience.
I look forward to reading your take on all of it. Always love to hear what you have to say!
Thanks so much for this Alex, you make a lot of interesting points here. Agree that Mormon women were poised to perform as mommy bloggers/influencers of the domestic sphere because, as you say, "publicly performing the "correct" way to family/mother/father/wife/husband/man/woman has been très Mormon all of my life, and it's not new to "influencers." Mormon women--in particular middle class and upper middle class Mormon women, have been crafting the domestic sphere into a fine art for decades, because it was the only sphere they were allowed to own and one has to flex somehow! BF struck me as *especially Mormon bc of the "pioneer" aspect--like they took that piece of the Mormon mythos and put it forward and wow, who knew all that pioneer trek experience would play to such a big internet audience?? Also the aspect of generational wealth but playing it off like it's "bootstrapped" strikes me as Mormon but I can't quite say why. I think it's because Mormonism is so tied to ideals of rugged individualism that inherited wealth seems gauche--whereas for other influencers the glam/affluence is a selling point. INHERITED WEALTH FARM doesn't quite have the same ring as humble ballerina farm, does it?
I’m personally very “tradwives don’t speak for me.” I probably would feel like I have more in common with my mom friends who still work despite being SAHM myself. And also, I’m the primary caregiver and homeschool teacher but define myself and have aspirations for so much more. I did not grow up thinking I’d be “this kind of mom” and I definitely still expect “fair play” in my marriage.
Thanks Katie and I think this is pretty resonant bc so many of us are "not the kind of mom/woman" we thought we would be (I was def raised to be a SAHM of many children and instead am a co-breadwinner with 1 kid). And part of what's fascinating/triggering about influencers like this is that there's def a message of "this is best wayyyyy" when most of us cobble together whatever we can and constantly wonder if we are doing it "right" or "is there a better way?" Bc there must be a better way, right??
6 million!! Now almost 6.5! America never ceases to amaze. Although, there is also a surprising amount of Brazilian followers on her posts I've noticed?!
I mean, I get it... in a patriarchy women get rewarded for following the hegemonic feminine script, and I know we still have so many women still patriarchally identified. Interesting about the global reach... it also struck me as SO WHITE.
So true! And I think they lived in Brazil for a minute and I'm assuming that's where the Brazil things started...there are also a surprising number of Mormon converts in Brazil...!
His father is Brazilian and he lived in Brazil for a while as you said. Also, Brazil in the last 20 years or so has became an evangelical country. That’s part of the reason we got Bolsonaro. So, I guess being a traditional wife resonates a lot and also, finally, we are 200 million very online people, so we are everywhere haha
Great article. At first my reaction was "so what this person has 6 million followers", then I read that she has more followers than Brene Brown, and I got chills. I mean I shouldn't be surprised, right? No one ever went broke betting on white christian supremacy and patriarchy.
“I’m wondering how my SAHMs or those with more “traditional” arrangements feel about this trend—do they feel seen”
I don’t feel seen. I feel even more invisible, because even this piece forgets that many women are pushed out of the workforce by childcare costs, and having a child with special needs can make returning to the workforce impossible. Many of us are doing the best we can with what we have- and shouldn’t have to throw our kids under the bus to remind everyone that we exist or fend off yet another smarmy lecture about us “choosing” to stay home as a privilege few can afford
As a former Mormon, gotta say this shit is bananas. It seems like the Mormon mommy blogger trend went straight into the Mormon mommy TikTok influencer. That little wink/nudge/secret handshake/I'm with her thing clearly is working for her. Holy moly! The church has been encouraging their members to show up as believers on social media from what I've heard lately.
The conversation around how much Mormon-ness plays into her aesthetic/success is a topic of MUCH convo with many of my friends who are Mormon/Mormon-adjacent/Post Mormon. Her following has wayyyy outgrown a Mormon audience, and seems to have attracted a lot of evangelicals (who might balk at her Mormon-ness if she made it more obvious). But having a Mormon community to tap into to get off the ground has certainly helped MANY an influencer/mommy blogger. And that phenomenon is definitely a rich text of its own.
This is so good! "Cosplay homesteader influences" is just an hilarious phrase that I will repeat to myself when I'm trying to cheer myself up. BUT more important -- this post serves to pop my bubble just a little bit more, because thinking about who has a platform and whose platforms have influence, has such real material consequence! And also a reminder of all the ways that white women still strive to have power and influence by upholding capitalism and patriarchal values. Thanks for this!
Thank you Allison and yes! In my circles Glennon Doyle is a household name, but this influencer has three times more followers than she does! We indeed live in different bubbles.
This is my preferred take on tradwives, because humor helps me be just disturbed and only afraid for our nation rather than absolutely terrified:
https://open.substack.com/pub/evilwitches/p/tradwife-but-just-for-the-week?r=18fo2&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
This is great...thanks for sharing. She is all of us!!
So, I recently started following her after seeing some buzz. Can't get over the myriad followers. But also--here's just my hot take--I kind of like her content! She's got a slick editor and I can deal with the snappy and deeply satisfying food cuts. Obvs she and her hubs are not really living off the land--I read another analysis of her recently naming that if they were truly farming in an authentic way, meat would be easier to buy than the copper water bottles they peddle on the Ballerina Farm website. And of course, this has implications for its portrayal of farming AND motherhood. But, personally, I feel like if I can peel her away from the reality she is attempting to represent and regard her with a healthy skepticism (in the same way we view actors), then I can enjoy her kneading bread or telling me about that time she lost a baby lamb and found him in the field and how he is one of God's children. She represents a reality so diametrically opposed to my city-dwelling, only-child rearing, person of color, gluten free lifestyle and ultimately, I find that interesting.
Ahhhh! Thank you for this and I love it because you are precisely the kind of person who I would think would not be interested, but you are!! Oh man we all love a glimpse of an alternate life, even (esp?) if it's fantasy. Meanwhile I have no interest in her content because it's TOO close to home (raised Mormon, from Utah, actual pioneer/polygamous ancestors, white, etc. etc.) Like this is the life I sort or ran away from haha.
I really enjoyed reading this article! I am a SAHM with I guess a more "traditional" set up in that my husband works for a business at home while I manage the daily maintenance that comes with having 4 kids. I follow Ballerina Farm out of interest, but I also follow Sharon Says So and I love her. I try to follow a variety of women to attempt to keep my finger on the pulse of what is out there. I wouldn't say Ballerina Farm influences my ideas about women in the home, religion, politics, or anything. She posts cozy videos of making yummy looking fresh mozzarella sandwiches that I'll never have the time or bandwidth to make. I'm also fascinated that she lets her toddler drink milk straight from her cow.
The fact that she went to Juilliard and keeps up with her dancing and fitness and is an example of loving and caring for her children is meaningful to me, also my daughters are dancers. I haven't ever felt she's trying to push her ideals or life on anyone, she seems to be thoughtfully sharing a part of her life to grow her business. She knows what she's doing to make her business successful.
Homeschooling, home births, farming/ranching, living off the land, all not for me. But I connect with her seeming love for her family and the support she seems to get from her partner as they grow a business together. It's all felt positive to me and just one perspective of how a family can run. And I'd love to try her recipes sometime.
I think the criticism of Ballerina Farm is that it's all aesthetic. If you aren't rich and good looking, no one cares. If Hannah gains weight or gets frumpy, it's all over. Look what happened to model Marisa Miller - she was a beauty that was everywhere, then gained a bit of weight after kid number two and now is totally ignored.
On one hand, her content seems harmless. She rarely talks about anything political, religious or controversial. Most of what I have seen is just videos of her cooking, glimpses of her very beautiful home and family life. But at the same time she is genius. Like many Mormon mommy influencers she is presenting a beautiful SAHM life, it's very aspirational for many. But her page is huge and very active. She must have a whole team helping her create content and working behind the scenes. She is a business owner. And killing it! I am annoyed by influencers who pretend to be "just" stay at home moms when they are actually a lifestyle brand that is significantly increasing their household budget. I have friends who ranch in a similar way--without the millionaire dad safety net--and they do not make enough money to support a family of 9. They have jobs off the farm too. So she has empowered herself but is disempowering others by being coy about the reality of her life.
So very Mormon! "Most Mormon influencer thing?" Big discussion. I guess it depends on how you define "influencer," which is a newish word that I think of as meaning "having fame for having an online audience." Influencers are new, but publicly performing the "correct" way to family/mother/father/wife/husband/man/woman has been très Mormon all of my life, and it's not new to "influencers." Remember "mommy bloggers?" that was a heavily Mormon phenomenon, though not as skewed to "trad." I think folks like Design Mom were entering the conversation at a time when the internet was a platform for Mormons looking to shed "trad" stereotypes that didn't apply to them. But a lot of what you saw a more modern take on something that is actually very traditionally Mormon (women lead domestic artistry, i.e. "homemaking.") Now, we're in an internet culture that is being used equally or more by conservatives. This feels like the clear response to that early 2000s call, in a way.
And while it's a more traditional craft-fame dynamic than "influencing," there was just that NYT piece about the prevalence of Mormon YA writers that comes to mind. I think there's a strong human impulse to put story to experience in a way that explains our lives and gives them meaning, and that's main fuel of the Mormon experience as well, whether it's scriptural tales, the Joseph Smith fables, or the constant retelling of personal narratives in "testimony." In a way, "influencing" is just the newest manifestation of this tradition and it pops up almost everywhere Mormons touch the culture. I assume you read that Atlantic piece about Mitt Romney. We don't share a lot politically, though I respect his character, but you can also see how he is almost unable to frame his life in anything but a very Mormon-typical "hero's journey."
It's a great subject to explore for sure. I'd also be super interested in your take on the psychic costs of engaging in this kind of engagement with the idea of "correct" womaning/mothering. The long, sad struggles of Heather Armstrong and the awful detachment from love and compassion in the abuse accusations of Ruby Franke (another successful "trad" Mormon influencer) come to mind. Armstrong seemed to never be able to detach from the "good enough" struggle many of us internalised in our Mormon upbringing, and Franke seems to have detached from reality and basic morality in attempting to fully commit to her version of "trad" parenting. To me, these feel like two sides of a Mormon-minted coin. Not that these are solely Mormon phenomena, but they are so recognisable to me from my experience.
I look forward to reading your take on all of it. Always love to hear what you have to say!
Thanks so much for this Alex, you make a lot of interesting points here. Agree that Mormon women were poised to perform as mommy bloggers/influencers of the domestic sphere because, as you say, "publicly performing the "correct" way to family/mother/father/wife/husband/man/woman has been très Mormon all of my life, and it's not new to "influencers." Mormon women--in particular middle class and upper middle class Mormon women, have been crafting the domestic sphere into a fine art for decades, because it was the only sphere they were allowed to own and one has to flex somehow! BF struck me as *especially Mormon bc of the "pioneer" aspect--like they took that piece of the Mormon mythos and put it forward and wow, who knew all that pioneer trek experience would play to such a big internet audience?? Also the aspect of generational wealth but playing it off like it's "bootstrapped" strikes me as Mormon but I can't quite say why. I think it's because Mormonism is so tied to ideals of rugged individualism that inherited wealth seems gauche--whereas for other influencers the glam/affluence is a selling point. INHERITED WEALTH FARM doesn't quite have the same ring as humble ballerina farm, does it?
I’m personally very “tradwives don’t speak for me.” I probably would feel like I have more in common with my mom friends who still work despite being SAHM myself. And also, I’m the primary caregiver and homeschool teacher but define myself and have aspirations for so much more. I did not grow up thinking I’d be “this kind of mom” and I definitely still expect “fair play” in my marriage.
Thanks Katie and I think this is pretty resonant bc so many of us are "not the kind of mom/woman" we thought we would be (I was def raised to be a SAHM of many children and instead am a co-breadwinner with 1 kid). And part of what's fascinating/triggering about influencers like this is that there's def a message of "this is best wayyyyy" when most of us cobble together whatever we can and constantly wonder if we are doing it "right" or "is there a better way?" Bc there must be a better way, right??
I can't get over the six million.
6 million!! Now almost 6.5! America never ceases to amaze. Although, there is also a surprising amount of Brazilian followers on her posts I've noticed?!
I mean, I get it... in a patriarchy women get rewarded for following the hegemonic feminine script, and I know we still have so many women still patriarchally identified. Interesting about the global reach... it also struck me as SO WHITE.
So true! And I think they lived in Brazil for a minute and I'm assuming that's where the Brazil things started...there are also a surprising number of Mormon converts in Brazil...!
Brazilian here. :)
His father is Brazilian and he lived in Brazil for a while as you said. Also, Brazil in the last 20 years or so has became an evangelical country. That’s part of the reason we got Bolsonaro. So, I guess being a traditional wife resonates a lot and also, finally, we are 200 million very online people, so we are everywhere haha
Great article. At first my reaction was "so what this person has 6 million followers", then I read that she has more followers than Brene Brown, and I got chills. I mean I shouldn't be surprised, right? No one ever went broke betting on white christian supremacy and patriarchy.
Thanks Greg and yeah--I think you nailed it with that last sentence, unfortunately! See also: Bama Rushtok.
Just looked up what Bama Rushtok is, and I'm at a loss for words. Hitler Youth Sorority with lipstick and mini skirts is the best I can come up with.
Tressie Cottom, who is the final word on just about everything imo, deemed it "peak Neo-antebellum white Southern culture" which is think is not that far off from your assessment! https://www.nytimes.com/2023/08/22/opinion/bama-rush-tiktok-race.html
“I’m wondering how my SAHMs or those with more “traditional” arrangements feel about this trend—do they feel seen”
I don’t feel seen. I feel even more invisible, because even this piece forgets that many women are pushed out of the workforce by childcare costs, and having a child with special needs can make returning to the workforce impossible. Many of us are doing the best we can with what we have- and shouldn’t have to throw our kids under the bus to remind everyone that we exist or fend off yet another smarmy lecture about us “choosing” to stay home as a privilege few can afford
As a former Mormon, gotta say this shit is bananas. It seems like the Mormon mommy blogger trend went straight into the Mormon mommy TikTok influencer. That little wink/nudge/secret handshake/I'm with her thing clearly is working for her. Holy moly! The church has been encouraging their members to show up as believers on social media from what I've heard lately.
The conversation around how much Mormon-ness plays into her aesthetic/success is a topic of MUCH convo with many of my friends who are Mormon/Mormon-adjacent/Post Mormon. Her following has wayyyy outgrown a Mormon audience, and seems to have attracted a lot of evangelicals (who might balk at her Mormon-ness if she made it more obvious). But having a Mormon community to tap into to get off the ground has certainly helped MANY an influencer/mommy blogger. And that phenomenon is definitely a rich text of its own.