This article is so timely for me. My father-in-law passed away recently at the young age of 70. And my husband and I are the only two on the same coast as my mother-in-law. While it happened rather unexpectedly, I don’t know that even another ten years would have prepared us for what we just inherited (and she doesn’t even need full-time care yet). She has her own pension to live on, but she lost her husbands pension overnight (which was almost double hers). The economy of care (or lack thereof) is a colossal systemic fail. One that will hit our generation hard over the next 20 years.
I find this sentence, “Basically get ready: change is the only thing you can count on” absolutely, aggravatingly true. Only talking with a fellow mom at kindergarten drop off did I learn about my new phase coined: the sandwich generation. She is in it too. I was left thinking about our interaction for days afterward. While it was a relief to talk with someone that understood, I have to think (hope?) there can be more than those 15 minute commiserating chats at drop off/pick ups.
I so enjoyed reading this--and many of us are in, or approaching, this phase of life with so little preparation. As you say, kind of as with having children, our culture lets us enter these milestones really pretty blind and with little support :( I would love a follow-up on this that picks up where you and Dr. Barbera left off with some solutions angles, which I know you are good at :)
Oct 4, 2021Liked by Allison Lichter, Lane Anderson
Much needed article. Definitely made me very anxious but also calmed me in some ways. It’s exactly the thing I’ve been thinking about, especially after turning 40 - how does he go one living without one’s parents and how can one be there for them and themselves. It is so surprising that even after millions of years of ageing, we still don’t know how to do it!
This article is so timely for me. My father-in-law passed away recently at the young age of 70. And my husband and I are the only two on the same coast as my mother-in-law. While it happened rather unexpectedly, I don’t know that even another ten years would have prepared us for what we just inherited (and she doesn’t even need full-time care yet). She has her own pension to live on, but she lost her husbands pension overnight (which was almost double hers). The economy of care (or lack thereof) is a colossal systemic fail. One that will hit our generation hard over the next 20 years.
I find this sentence, “Basically get ready: change is the only thing you can count on” absolutely, aggravatingly true. Only talking with a fellow mom at kindergarten drop off did I learn about my new phase coined: the sandwich generation. She is in it too. I was left thinking about our interaction for days afterward. While it was a relief to talk with someone that understood, I have to think (hope?) there can be more than those 15 minute commiserating chats at drop off/pick ups.
This has been on my mind -- it feels like it will be indredibly overwhelming for many many reasons. Thanks for such an insightful post.
I so enjoyed reading this--and many of us are in, or approaching, this phase of life with so little preparation. As you say, kind of as with having children, our culture lets us enter these milestones really pretty blind and with little support :( I would love a follow-up on this that picks up where you and Dr. Barbera left off with some solutions angles, which I know you are good at :)
Much needed article. Definitely made me very anxious but also calmed me in some ways. It’s exactly the thing I’ve been thinking about, especially after turning 40 - how does he go one living without one’s parents and how can one be there for them and themselves. It is so surprising that even after millions of years of ageing, we still don’t know how to do it!