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It’s simply absurd that this conflation of “woman” with “mother” persists so strongly in our political life, but maybe it’s because women have so rarely had any political power except when they’ve used their status as mothers to assert influence. (I think of the Tennessee mother who wrote her son to tell him to vote for the 19th amendment - a piece of history I never knew until I saw the musical Suffs!). All this to say that it’s amazing to have Kamala/Momala in the public eye as a step mom, and aunt, and also as a woman who married in her late 40 and didn’t have kids. That role model is so crucial for all of us!

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Yes! And now I realize that this conflation is *deliberate to serve political purposes. It seemed relatively benevolent until the last eight years or so...

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I was raised in Mississippi by rigid catholic parents and yet somehow the indoctrination didn’t stick at all—perhaps because they were so forceful with it. In some ways I think that this is how the Republican Party specifically and misogyny in general will finally destroy itself—they’ve become so blatantly idiotic and hateful that any person in their right mind sees them exactly for who they are.

I loved how you offered two perfect examples of reversing genders on a cultural norm. It’s such a helpful tactic—and the more we publicly acknowledge that bias, and consider its implications, the more we dig out the internalized beliefs that are so corrosive to human dignity. It’s a negotiation tactic and an incredibly useful tool. Thanks for a great piece!

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Sep 2Liked by Lane Anderson

The male supremacist/misogynist sector is fundamentally simply reductionist. An uncle once told me that anatomy is destiny. I knew that was crap then but I kept my mouth shut. I became a childless catless lady with a law degree and now I'm old and gray and never regretted my decisions...except for the slimeball I worked for for about a year. Got out of there quickly.

Have a great vacation.

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author

Thank you Carol! It's so refreshing to hear from women like you. Thank you for sharing. We are told from the time we are tiny that we will be sad and miserable unless we are attached to a man our entire adult lives. We need role models to help disrupt that nonsense narrative.

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In his case, yes, anatomy is destiny. He was definitely a dick.

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The benevolence of motherhood, the integrity and prudence of a childless life, it must be about honouring life choices. Must not it?

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