Vance's "benevolent" sexism is triggering because it's the oldest trick in the book, ICYMI. Also!: an invitation to a live chat event for all things Mormon Wives.
I love your question about when I really understood benevolent patriarchy -- I have so many memories of male bosses who would be supportive of me professionally while also frequently comparing me to their daughters. So the message was clear: I would always be a dependent subordinate.
Yes. It is really creepy! And so, so many are taught, and taught, and taught again, and again, to switch off their inbuilt creepy detectors from such a young age and beyond.
Yup, as a former Evangelical, this is all very familiar to me. l grew up under the "Umbrella of Protection," which is this same creepy idea. I've written about this in my own Substack, a serialized memoir titled "State of Wonder."
Couldn’t agree more. I was raised side by side to 4 boy cousins and was always second class citizen. One day in conversation with my uncle, their father, asked me why I thought they had 4 boys? He said it was because they wanted a girl. My answer: then why did you treat me so badly?
I can’t count the times I was told cousin D would protect and take care of me. He was only months older. Guess where that lead?
Yeah, a rapist and serial groper on the top of the ticket and a guy who thinks other guys should have the right to beat their wives for the sake of the children without recourse against him. For the sake of the children... I'd laugh but there's nothing funny about being beaten up whenever hubby needs a target for his fury. These are the guys who say they'll protect women. Uh huh. Opt out by voting straight ticket Blue.
Indeed, "benevolent" sexism is simply the velvet glove to hostile sexism's iron fist. Two sides, same coin. It's all one big protection RACKET and pyramid scheme.
I love your question about when I really understood benevolent patriarchy -- I have so many memories of male bosses who would be supportive of me professionally while also frequently comparing me to their daughters. So the message was clear: I would always be a dependent subordinate.
Yes. It is really creepy! And so, so many are taught, and taught, and taught again, and again, to switch off their inbuilt creepy detectors from such a young age and beyond.
Yes--such a good point. Taught to betray ourselves in that way, too!
Yup, as a former Evangelical, this is all very familiar to me. l grew up under the "Umbrella of Protection," which is this same creepy idea. I've written about this in my own Substack, a serialized memoir titled "State of Wonder."
I have only heard of the “umbrella” recently! Different metaphor same patriarchy 🤷♀️
Yes. This.
Right?! TY!
Couldn’t agree more. I was raised side by side to 4 boy cousins and was always second class citizen. One day in conversation with my uncle, their father, asked me why I thought they had 4 boys? He said it was because they wanted a girl. My answer: then why did you treat me so badly?
I can’t count the times I was told cousin D would protect and take care of me. He was only months older. Guess where that lead?
Oof I am so sorry. You deserved better.
They are benevolent - until you think your own thoughts and disagree with them. Punishment is swift.
Yeah, a rapist and serial groper on the top of the ticket and a guy who thinks other guys should have the right to beat their wives for the sake of the children without recourse against him. For the sake of the children... I'd laugh but there's nothing funny about being beaten up whenever hubby needs a target for his fury. These are the guys who say they'll protect women. Uh huh. Opt out by voting straight ticket Blue.
Amen
Indeed, "benevolent" sexism is simply the velvet glove to hostile sexism's iron fist. Two sides, same coin. It's all one big protection RACKET and pyramid scheme.