Jun 10, 2023·edited Jun 10, 2023Liked by Lane Anderson
I remember the Parental Notification of Abortion Initiative being on the ballot soon after I turned 18. It changed me as I read details of the measure. There were too many red flags. What if the parent needed to sign this abortion notification was someone to fear? What if young girls lives were at risk by forcing them to get a parent signature? What is the end goal of this prop and who is the target? Why are we not giving the person whose body is being affected any choice here?
I have my own issues with Mother's Day. So, every year on Mother's Day I think of the mitochondrial Eve. It's the mitochondria DNA which passes from a mother to offspring. Since sperm do not carry their own mitochondria, scientists have traced this mtDNA and concluded we all descended from one mother, whoever that is. While xx and xy receive the mtDNA, paternal mtDNA is destroyed during fertilization. I am not a scientist so I hope I didn't butcher that explanation. Even still, I found a similar empowerment as you after giving birth: not only did my body know what to do all on it's own around the clock, but I gave my daughters something they will pass on solely from me.
I recently read Hello, Beautiful by Ann Napolitano and the response you gave your daughter reminded me of Julia. She, too, loves her body much more after giving birth. Reading your words made me feel proud of myself all over again. Why don't we talk more about how incredible our bodies are for doing it all on their own? Is it because we've been conditioned by society that's how women are supposed to do things? Just get it done without any acknowledgement?
Mother's Day can sure be an emotional day for a handful of reasons, but I love how you wrapped it up. The day is worth honoring: specifically the right for others to choose whether they want to be a mother or not.
Thanks so much for this, Missy. I somehow missed it before and am just now seeing it. I love what you share here about mtDNA. I don't think I had heard that before! I do remember reading in "Sapiens" that scientists have traced back homo sapiens to a single female with certain mutations--our "mother" as you say. it filled me with a certain pride--not least of all because it indicates that the first human was a female, of course (take that Adam). I have also read a bit about chimerism in mothers--that is to say the way that a woman's body allows fetal cells to cross the placental barrier such that she actually carries cells from her children in her own body even after birth. Women's bodies are so cool. And yes, so powerful!
Thanks Lane for the big reminder about our power as women. Especially to grow a baby insider of us and give birth.
As I read this, I was reminded about the birth of my first child in 1970. After my son was born, the attending doctor, very well meaning, was glowing about the wonderful natural birth he assisted with, kinda taking credit for how well it went. He was not conscious of his bias, but I at age 27, said to myself "Mother nature and I made this happen."
Wow, Lane, this is great! I also felt that amazed at giving birth, and have been equally horrified at the foster care situation in LA. We really do need group homes for a couple populations here. But I hadn’t thought about the male creator myths and this idea of men trying to control the creation power of women by taking away women’s power to decide when to have a baby. It is a terrifying time. Great piece.
Thank you Wendy, this means a lot coming from you! When I was super pregnant I was in the shower one day and the male creator myth popped into my head and I just burst out laughing and laughing. It seemed soooo ridiculous at that moment!
I appreciate this essay very much, as I reflect on all the grief and rage I bring to this “holiday.”
I also want to challenge what you said about how new life only comes from women and female bodies. Thank Gd we live in a time where it is easier to also know and celebrate the wonder of trans men, non-binary folks, and other queer folk (who identify differently) as also being birth-givers. Also, what misery that queer folks face overwhelming hurdles in accessing life-affirming healthcare and are also affected by abortion bans and other misogynist acts of violence seeking to arrest bodily autonomy from those who are not cis, straight, white, Christian men.
The oppressive violence that women in the US experience is merely a different face of that aimed towards LGBQIA2S+ folks, Black folks, Indigenous folks, other people of color, and non-Christians. It is by recognizing what we have in common and banding together that we might change our oppressive realities, rather than focusing on our individual experiences of oppression (though those deserve their own time and space to grieve and process).
I agree with all of this Jenny, thank you for adding this to the conversation. I have gone back and forth in using language like "birthing people" and "people with uteruses" and sometimes if feels wordy or wonky --but the most important thing is to be inclusive. Words matter and the more we use inclusive language the more normalized it will be.
I remember the Parental Notification of Abortion Initiative being on the ballot soon after I turned 18. It changed me as I read details of the measure. There were too many red flags. What if the parent needed to sign this abortion notification was someone to fear? What if young girls lives were at risk by forcing them to get a parent signature? What is the end goal of this prop and who is the target? Why are we not giving the person whose body is being affected any choice here?
I have my own issues with Mother's Day. So, every year on Mother's Day I think of the mitochondrial Eve. It's the mitochondria DNA which passes from a mother to offspring. Since sperm do not carry their own mitochondria, scientists have traced this mtDNA and concluded we all descended from one mother, whoever that is. While xx and xy receive the mtDNA, paternal mtDNA is destroyed during fertilization. I am not a scientist so I hope I didn't butcher that explanation. Even still, I found a similar empowerment as you after giving birth: not only did my body know what to do all on it's own around the clock, but I gave my daughters something they will pass on solely from me.
I recently read Hello, Beautiful by Ann Napolitano and the response you gave your daughter reminded me of Julia. She, too, loves her body much more after giving birth. Reading your words made me feel proud of myself all over again. Why don't we talk more about how incredible our bodies are for doing it all on their own? Is it because we've been conditioned by society that's how women are supposed to do things? Just get it done without any acknowledgement?
Mother's Day can sure be an emotional day for a handful of reasons, but I love how you wrapped it up. The day is worth honoring: specifically the right for others to choose whether they want to be a mother or not.
Thanks so much for this, Missy. I somehow missed it before and am just now seeing it. I love what you share here about mtDNA. I don't think I had heard that before! I do remember reading in "Sapiens" that scientists have traced back homo sapiens to a single female with certain mutations--our "mother" as you say. it filled me with a certain pride--not least of all because it indicates that the first human was a female, of course (take that Adam). I have also read a bit about chimerism in mothers--that is to say the way that a woman's body allows fetal cells to cross the placental barrier such that she actually carries cells from her children in her own body even after birth. Women's bodies are so cool. And yes, so powerful!
Thanks Lane for the big reminder about our power as women. Especially to grow a baby insider of us and give birth.
As I read this, I was reminded about the birth of my first child in 1970. After my son was born, the attending doctor, very well meaning, was glowing about the wonderful natural birth he assisted with, kinda taking credit for how well it went. He was not conscious of his bias, but I at age 27, said to myself "Mother nature and I made this happen."
Yes you did!! Love it. I wish we could pass this on to each other culturally more. I dream about a sex Ed revamp with a focus like this.
This is so well done. Heavy, but true. Thanks.
Thank you so much, and thank you for reading Jer!
Wow, Lane, this is great! I also felt that amazed at giving birth, and have been equally horrified at the foster care situation in LA. We really do need group homes for a couple populations here. But I hadn’t thought about the male creator myths and this idea of men trying to control the creation power of women by taking away women’s power to decide when to have a baby. It is a terrifying time. Great piece.
Thank you Wendy, this means a lot coming from you! When I was super pregnant I was in the shower one day and the male creator myth popped into my head and I just burst out laughing and laughing. It seemed soooo ridiculous at that moment!
I appreciate this essay very much, as I reflect on all the grief and rage I bring to this “holiday.”
I also want to challenge what you said about how new life only comes from women and female bodies. Thank Gd we live in a time where it is easier to also know and celebrate the wonder of trans men, non-binary folks, and other queer folk (who identify differently) as also being birth-givers. Also, what misery that queer folks face overwhelming hurdles in accessing life-affirming healthcare and are also affected by abortion bans and other misogynist acts of violence seeking to arrest bodily autonomy from those who are not cis, straight, white, Christian men.
The oppressive violence that women in the US experience is merely a different face of that aimed towards LGBQIA2S+ folks, Black folks, Indigenous folks, other people of color, and non-Christians. It is by recognizing what we have in common and banding together that we might change our oppressive realities, rather than focusing on our individual experiences of oppression (though those deserve their own time and space to grieve and process).
I agree with all of this Jenny, thank you for adding this to the conversation. I have gone back and forth in using language like "birthing people" and "people with uteruses" and sometimes if feels wordy or wonky --but the most important thing is to be inclusive. Words matter and the more we use inclusive language the more normalized it will be.