This really struck me so deeply in our conversation. The burden is heavy to bear but putting it down feels like it would hurt too many people. That’s why it feels like we’re in such precarious situations — and why we all need that net to catch us.
“I work with a handful of people who grew up outside the U.S. and they just shake their heads and ask, “Why aren't people rioting in the streets over how terrible the healthcare system is?””
I live outside the US and can confirm the US lack of social safety net / health care system seems EXTREMELY GRIM
"I really am talking about neoliberalism, which is the idea that people are supposed to support themselves, without assistance or interference from the state." YES. Neoliberalism has added to the weight of what women carry (half the sky, according to a famous Chinese saying) immensely.
I've also noticed changes in how parenting is portrayed in entertainment (movies/TV) over the past twenty years. There's so much helicopter parenting, so much abundance without acknowledgment of the work behind it, all while glorifying mothers rushing around and barely keeping it together. I think that almost makes it harder for mothers to give up control to fathers. Like if a father will only throw together a dry bologna sandwich for school lunches, that's considered not good enough – mothers have to step in and take over. Meanwhile, the kids should be getting cheap nutritious lunches at school. Children in China get this. Why can't children in North America?
100% and in researching this and reading books like Jess’s, I’ve come to realize that ALL other peer countries and even countries w much smaller GDPs have these things.
The US is uniquely terrible. The good news is if we all know that we can advocate for what we deserve!
uniquely terrible because it's uniquely capitalistic...more capitalist than other high income countries and too individualistic as a result (capitalism turns us all into consumers and economic units).
This book is rightfully getting a lot of attention on substacks this week but yours is the one that I had my husband, 13 year old daughter and all my mom friends read.
Thank you so much Rachel! I was so inspired by Jess’s book! It’s incredibly smart, compassionate and readable! Highly recommend for everyone! And I really appreciate your sharing this interview ❤️
This was such an excellent interview. Also, Lane, I too am from Utah and live in the NYC area. The big differences between the two, particularly for quality of life for women, have definitely shaped my views on this topic!
Loving your own commentary lately on the intersection of feminism and religion, and happy to connect further anytime on the ways in which Utah has shaped our very similar perspectives on this. :)
The pointed questions and her responses clearly show how the myths we’ve embraced about hyper individualism keep the patriarchy and capitalism going which keeps so many of us scrambling.
I like her practical ideas (ie mom’s Facebook groups) where these old myths can be challenged across political lines.
“The assumption that women are the natural caregivers for children spills out into — well — they must then be the natural caregivers for everyone,”
This really sums it up! And if women were to drop that labor now, the suffering would be unimaginable. What a trap that imperils everyone 🙃
This really struck me so deeply in our conversation. The burden is heavy to bear but putting it down feels like it would hurt too many people. That’s why it feels like we’re in such precarious situations — and why we all need that net to catch us.
“I work with a handful of people who grew up outside the U.S. and they just shake their heads and ask, “Why aren't people rioting in the streets over how terrible the healthcare system is?””
I live outside the US and can confirm the US lack of social safety net / health care system seems EXTREMELY GRIM
Thanks so much for this Natasha! It’s good to know we aren’t crazy - the system is! There are models and solutions out that there that we learn from!
My partner is not from the US and he’s like, why are we here??
The answer is our jobs, but yeah it’s a lot we put up with and we shouldn’t…
"I really am talking about neoliberalism, which is the idea that people are supposed to support themselves, without assistance or interference from the state." YES. Neoliberalism has added to the weight of what women carry (half the sky, according to a famous Chinese saying) immensely.
I've also noticed changes in how parenting is portrayed in entertainment (movies/TV) over the past twenty years. There's so much helicopter parenting, so much abundance without acknowledgment of the work behind it, all while glorifying mothers rushing around and barely keeping it together. I think that almost makes it harder for mothers to give up control to fathers. Like if a father will only throw together a dry bologna sandwich for school lunches, that's considered not good enough – mothers have to step in and take over. Meanwhile, the kids should be getting cheap nutritious lunches at school. Children in China get this. Why can't children in North America?
100% and in researching this and reading books like Jess’s, I’ve come to realize that ALL other peer countries and even countries w much smaller GDPs have these things.
The US is uniquely terrible. The good news is if we all know that we can advocate for what we deserve!
uniquely terrible because it's uniquely capitalistic...more capitalist than other high income countries and too individualistic as a result (capitalism turns us all into consumers and economic units).
This book is rightfully getting a lot of attention on substacks this week but yours is the one that I had my husband, 13 year old daughter and all my mom friends read.
Thank you so much Rachel! I was so inspired by Jess’s book! It’s incredibly smart, compassionate and readable! Highly recommend for everyone! And I really appreciate your sharing this interview ❤️
I'm on my library's waiting list but I might not be able to make it that long. And yw, it deserves to be shared.❤️
Wow thx this is such a great compliment! Agree @allisonlichter is such a great interviewer 😀
This was such an excellent interview. Also, Lane, I too am from Utah and live in the NYC area. The big differences between the two, particularly for quality of life for women, have definitely shaped my views on this topic!
Hi Ryan, do tell! I would love to compare notes!
Lane, so many notes!
Here's a bit about my own upbringing in Utah (I was not raised Mormon, but am descended from the OG pioneers nonetheless): https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/passing-on-an-ethics-of-permission
And here's a bit about my mother, who was not Mormon either, but who had plenty of color commentary about Mormons:
https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/journaling-prompt-your-moment-of
And, here are two interviews with friends who have connections to Utah and have had their own moments of rebirth:
https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/exit-interview-how-das-rush-became
https://ryanroseweaver.substack.com/p/exit-interviews-jess-van-wyen-reproductive
Loving your own commentary lately on the intersection of feminism and religion, and happy to connect further anytime on the ways in which Utah has shaped our very similar perspectives on this. :)
I'm in Louisville KY so it's just extremely helpful to feel like I'm not insane.
Oy yes I can imagine !
This was a great interview with Calarco.
The pointed questions and her responses clearly show how the myths we’ve embraced about hyper individualism keep the patriarchy and capitalism going which keeps so many of us scrambling.
I like her practical ideas (ie mom’s Facebook groups) where these old myths can be challenged across political lines.